advocacy? *CRICKETS*

i went to the interview at the hotel i had an interview scheduled at today and the hotel DID look familiar.. but that really doesn't say much since basically all hotels look familiar if you think about it. when i got there, i walked where i figured the front desk was and i told them i was there for an interview, the FIRST thing they asked, pretty much assuming they were correct but asking to be sure, "you here for a housekeeping interview?" then i said, "no.. front desk." then they said, "oh! we'll get her and tell her you're here for an interview!" then i said, "ok." because- in case you're unaware, MOST hotel housekeepers are hispanic ladies. all the housekeepers i seen there were little hispanic ladies. the lady who interviewed me didn't say anything about interviewing me before though.. so i'm still not sure. she asked me some questions in her office and i answered them. she did bring up what i was sure she'd bring up too since it DID take more than just 15 minutes to get there. "so where do you live?" and i said, "st. paul." then she said, "oh. how'd you get here?" then i said, "lyft." then she said, "well.. that'll probably get expensive paying for lyft all the time.." then i said, "well, my insurance pays for it." they might as well, seeing as they can't even fuckin pay for the RESOURCES and ADVOCACY to get my fuckin driver's license BACK after it expired- I DIDN'T HAVE IT TAKEN AWAY FOR ERRATIC DRIVING OR ANY OTHER REASON THAT WOULD'VE BEEN MY FAULT. the thought of interviewing for housekeeping briefly came to mind- then i remembered my BRAIN INJURY and how i would more than likely get hurt doing housekeeping. IT DOESN'T MATTER TO AMANDA AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY (EXCEPT JOE)! JUST AS LONG AS I ACT DISABLED AND ATTEND SOME OVERRATED PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A "REHAB. FACILITY" KNOWN AS COURAGE KENNY LIKE ALL THE OTHER DISABLED PEOPLE TO GET THEM ATTENTION AND SYMPATHY! the second i got a tbi- i lost my right to live life like a REGULAR, HEALTHY person.. RIGHT AMANDA?! I BELONG AT COURAGE KENNY WHERE THEY JUST WANT TO KEEP ME LOOKING AND FUNCTIONING AS DISABLED AS POSSIBLE SO THEY CAN LOOK LIKE THEY'RE ACTUALLY FUCKING DOING THEIR JOBS EVEN IF THEY AREN'T REALLY HELPING THEM ESPECIALLY IF THEY DON'T HAVE PEOPLE WHO ARE KNOWLEDGABLE AND CARING ADVOCATING FOR THEM- TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE VULNERABLE CLIENTS WITH A LACK OF PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THEM! (WHICH MOST DISABLED PEOPLE DON'T HAVE BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO CARE FOR THEM ASSUME THAT COURAGE KENNY WILL HELP WITH ADVOCATING AS WELL AS REHABILITATION!). i'm DONE with courage kenny's bullshit (PROOF I ATTENDED THERE IS ON MY FACEBOOK TIMELINE IF THE MUSKRAT DIDN'T GET THEM TO TAKE IT DOWN). you CAN get your damn driver's license when you're disabled and NOT attend courage kenny! I KNOW OF MANY FUCKING PEOPLE WHO ARE DISABLED WHO DIDN'T WASTE THEIR TIME THERE. IF YOU ACTUALLY CARED- YOU'D FUCKIN ASSIST ME IN GETTING IT AGAIN. i'm not pretending that you're actually fucking helping me because as far as i'm concerned- YOU HAVEN'T DONE SHIT. I had to make a scene just to get kicked out of the shithole in burnsville so people would ACTUALLY help me find somewhere else to live. it's probably on my renting record now. JUST HAVE TO GO TO A DIFFERENT STATE SO I CAN ACTUALLY FIND AN APARTMENT THAT WILL ACCEPT ME! so in reality- it's amanda and the rest of the people who supposedly care about me to help me find somewhere i can be truly constructive and safe while being satisfied with living where i am who have ALWAYS been the REAL PROBLEM. WHICH- *GASP* DOESN'T INCLUDE ATTENDING FUCKING COURAGE KENNY! those jackasses only care about taking advantage of my LACK of CARING advocacy which i was TOLD would be amanda- by the person who naively advocated for me before but died of lung cancer! so i'm actually getting punished for her lung cancer also! I'M JUST A FUCKING INCONVENIENCE FOR ACTUALLY WANTING TO LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY I WANT. thanks so much amanda! YOU HAVE HELPED ME TO SEE EXACTLY HOW MUCH MY FAMILY (EXCEPT JOE AND JAY) DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME IF IT DOESN'T BENEFIT THEM AND/OR MAKE THEM FALSELY APPEAR LIKE THEY ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME. YOU GOT THIS! YOU HELP MY MENTAL HEALTH SO MUCH! *ROLLS EYES* i've basically cut off one of my best friends for my mental health, don't you dare think for a second that you couldn't be next. that goes for my mom too.. even though i've pretty much cut her ass off too.